


I get my way, get out of my way

by Alphawave



Category: Disco Elysium (Video Game)
Genre: Didn't make this one shippy though you can certainly interpret it however you like, Gen, Humor, Humorous Ending, I saw that dance video (you know the one) and wrote this within 2 hours of seeing it, I write like a speedfreak when I see stuff like this you can't stop me, Magic of fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:00:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27027739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alphawave/pseuds/Alphawave
Summary: Harry has an impromptu dance party with Kim, while Jean just watches in the background and totally doesn't get jealous. Inspired by that one video ZA/UM did, which in turn is inspired by Casey Frey's video.
Relationships: Harry Du Bois & Jean Vicquemare, Harry Du Bois & Kim Kitsuragi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	I get my way, get out of my way

**PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Easy: Success] — You're chopping wood, doing the manliest of manly things. Sweat sticks to your skin. Sun gleams into your sunken eyes. Your muscles flex, showcasing their muscly, manly strength. And of course we have to do this shirtless, like the real manly men.

 **LOGIC** [Medium: Failure] — Why are we chopping wood again?

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Medium: Success] — It doesn't matter. It's cool. You're cool. Through the lens of a trashy adult romance novel, you are spicy sexy!

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** — You do feel sexy. You should show it. Do a sexy little leg slide while you do it.

 **PERCEPTION** [Trivial: Success] — Music sounds in the background. It sounds vaguely Mesquite, with a Revacholian twist.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** — Beside a tree, Jean Vicquemare's voice rings out, cutting through the music. "What are you doing?"

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Easy: Success] — It's called dancing. Or, well, the start of a dance. Does this square know that?

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Trivial: Success] — A super sexy dance, might I add.

 **YOU** — "I'm dancing, duh."

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** — "Like that?"

 **YOU** — "What? Jealous?"

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** — He shakes his head. "This is dumb. You're dumb."

 **EMPATHY** [Medium: Failure] — He's totally jealous of your dancing skills. Show him your moves.

 **PERCEPTION** — Hark. Over there, in the shadows of the shed. A figure in a bright orange bomber jacket and aviator pants, leaning over the deteriorating structure. Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi, in the flesh, his face for once naked without his glasses.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — The corners of his lips curl up into a smile. He's watching you.

 **DRAMA** [Medium: Success] — Mischief and sensuality glitters in those ebony eyes.

 **LOGIC** [Easy: Failure] — Why does Jean have Kim's glasses? Why is everybody back in Martinaise? Where the fuck is that music coming from?

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — He stops leaning over the structure to stride over to you. One step, two step, three, then stop. The music fades away, and then the chorus comes along.

 **EMPATHY** [Medium: Success] — He's staring at you, breaking you down piece by piece. The world is gone. It's just you and the dance floor that's the soil and the disco ball that is the sun.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — The chorus kicks in, and Kim starts shaking his hips in a very not-square manner. His eyes are focused on you.

 **COMPOSURE** [Easy: Failure] — Holy fuck, is Kim dancing _sexily?!_

 **LOGIC** [Trivial: Success] — There is no way Kim will ever dance like this.

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Easy: Success] — Does it matter? He's dancing! And you wanna dance. Get rid of that boring old crowbar. Leave it behind.

 **LOGIC** [Trivial: Failure] — Why are you chopping wood with a…? You know what, I'm done. I'm done!

 **YOU** — You take a step forward, eyes concentrated on Kim's hips.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — He continues to dance, spinning in place before pumping his chest and his hand out to the beat of his heart. 

**SAVOIR FAIRE** [Godly: Success] — You're following along with his moves. It's almost like you've choreographed this, have this routine memorised in your head and your muscles.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** — Jean's watching the two of you in mild bewilderment. "Harry, don’t."

 **DRAMA** [Trivial: Success] — Harry, _yes!_

 **YOU** — You dance along, swaying your hips before dropping slowly down onto your knees, rising up with a seductive little slide of your hand.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — He follows along with your moves, his expression never faltering or changing, his dancing never faltering.

 **DRAMA** — Outdo him, sire. Show him what you're REALLY made of.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** — Jean dramatically wipes Kim's glasses off his forehead.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] — He's either thinking " _God, you dance very good, Harry, I am so jealous_ " or " _Harry, for fuck's sake, don't bust your hip_ ". There is a slight possibility he's thinking of both.

 **DRAMA** — You can do it!!!

 **HAND/EYE COORDINATION** [Formidable: Success] — A little jog on the spot. Back kick, opposite arm forward like that yoga pose. Mesquite bull fighter, stare Kim down. Two, three, four! You're doing it!

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — He's doing it too, keeping perfect pace and rhythm to you.

 **YOU** — You slowly do the bull fighter up to Kim.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — Kim does the bull fighter up to you.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** — Jean rolls his eyes and unsticks himself from the tree, raising his hands up to the air. "I'm fucking done here, do your fucking mating dance out of my sight."

 **DRAMA** — Sweet, sweet victory! This calls for a celebration dance.

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** [Easy: Success] — Oh, we can definitely do that.

 **YOU** — You swing your arms in the air, head tucked down to your chin. Your moves are less rehearsed, more wild and free.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — Kim stops copying you, also loosening up a little to dance in a less sexy but equally mesmerising fashion. He twists his torso, shoulders shifting from side to side, arms close to his sides. He's still smiling with you, still dancing with the music with you.

 **PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT** — Two guys being pals. Two pals dancing like chumps. Two chumps that are a little too close for comfort.

 **CONCEPTUALIZATION** [Medium: Success] — The disco ball descends from the nearby tree. Two bodies of different origins and style dance to the same rhythm. There is no world, just this little square of Martinaise, a world away from the world. A respite against the agony and pain of everyday life.

 **YOU** — Dancing with Kim like this? Having him dance with me? This is too good to be true.

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** — Isn't it obvious? It is too good to be true.

 **PERCEPTION** [Heroic: Success] — The record halts with a horrifying screech, as if it reads your very thoughts.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — Kim smiles blankly at you, picture perfect, but without a soul.

 **YOU** — "Oh no. Oh no, no, no no."

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** — You shouldn't be in Martinaise. You shouldn't be cutting wood shirtless with a fat body like that, and you definitely shouldn't be dancing like _that_ in front of Kim Kitsuragi.

 **LIMBIC SYSTEM** — The supernova burns your lungs and cracks your body down. The figment fades away in a flash. The world of dancing and disco parties is fleeing. You're too slow to catch it. The dawn will consume you, as it always does.

 **ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN** — At least this time, you have a pleasant dream. Best not to look too deep into it though, eh, Harry boy?

 **YOU** — You wake up from your bed with a start. Sweat sticks to your skin. Sun gleams into your sunken eyes. As you typically are when you're asleep in your own bed, you sleep shirtless, like real manly men do. Your hand reaches for the pillow behind you and pulls it up to your lips.

 **YOU** — "Shit!!!" you screech into the soft, innocent pillow.

* * *

 **VOLITION** [Medium: Success] — Somehow you had the willpower to dress up and head to the Precinct at a respectable time. As you expect, Jean is there, as is Kim, the two of them chatting minutes before their shift is to begin.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — "You're early, Detective," Kim says with a slight note of surprise.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** — Jean sighs. "What nightmare did you have this time?"

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Medium: Success] — There has been very few times in Jean's career underneath you where you have came to work early. Most of times, the reason was not for a desire to do justice but because of the horrific machinations of your mind.

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Easy: Success] — Fortunately for you, this dream isn't that bad.

 **PAIN THRESHOLD** [Trivial: Success] — We think.

 **YOU** — "I had a dream where I was having a dance party with you, Kim. And Jean, you were watching. Like, you were judging us."

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — "Oh? And how did I dance in this dream of yours?"

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** — "Oh fuck no…"

 **YOU** — "Well, you kinda shook your hips like this." You demonstrate quickly in what you hope is the correct tempo to your dream. "And then you just kinda…swung your leg like this, and then bent down all sexy like this."

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — Kim glances at Jean's disgusted face. Then he glances back at you. "Like this?" He copies your moves, one by one.

 **SAVOIR FAIRE** [Medium: Success] — Not as coordinated as the dream, but quite good for a first try.

 **YOU** — "Yeah! Then you did this, and then this…" You swung your arms around, then did the Bullfighter.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** — "Harry, for god's sake, don't teach the Lieutenant here your reprobate dance moves."

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — "What, dance moves like this?" Kim does the Mesquite bull fighter with you, matching you as you both approach Jean.

 **JEAN VICQUEMARE** — Jean quickly backs up, disgusted. "I'm fucking done here, do your fucking mating dance out of my sight." With those words, he stalks his way into the Precinct out of sight.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — Kim chuckles quietly beside you before quickly regaining his composure. "Well. Those 'reprobate' dance moves of yours were quite…interesting."

 **YOU** — "Better than your juvie dancing?"

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — He snorts. "Anything is better than juvie dancing."

 **LOGIC** — Well. That dream ended up being way more realistic than I expected it to be.

 **ESPRIT DE CORPS** [Formidable: Success] — Appreciate what just happened, however brief it may have been. You are never going to see Kim dance like that, or in any marginally sexy way, ever again in your waking life.

 **KIM KITSURAGI** — "Come on, Detective," Kim says at the entrance. "We have plenty of paperwork to complete from our last case, and Captain Pryce wants us to finish it all by tonight."

 **YOU** — "Awww, c'mon, Kim…"

 **AUTHORITY** [Impossible: Failure] — He pulls the eyebrow on you and you succumb. You cannot say no. You will not disobey him. You have to resign yourself to this fate of paperwork and papers and work.

 **ELECTROCHEMISTRY** [Easy: Success] — Maybe if we fell asleep, we could continue the sexy dance dream again?

 **INLAND EMPIRE** [Medium: Success] — Sleep sounds vastly preferable to paperwork.


End file.
